That's a Wrap???

I was so excited today to attend, for the first time, the well known "Glen Ivy Day Spa" for a signature treatment known as the Eucalyptus Body Wrap.  On my trip to the oasis, I had images of a rough and scaly caterpillar resting peacefully, nestled taught in a warm cocoon only to emerge a beautiful butterfly, ready to stretch its silky wings. I set my expectations high and anticipated I too would soon be wrapped in organic leaves or aromatherapy-soaked gauze, regressing to a womb-like state, only to be unwrapped revealing a refreshed, glowing new creature.  

I enter the spa and am greeted by a high pitched, soft spoken seemingly Xanax induced/way-to-calm-to-be-in-a-natural-state woman who asks me if I would like to upgrade to have my treatment in the "VICHY" room.  The way she described it, I felt I would be missing out on a wondrous multi-shower-head experience.  Easily persuaded at such an early hour and not yet having had my daily dose of caffeinated Java, I obliged.

I am then taken back to the Women's Locker Room, fitted with a plush microfiber robe, rubber slippers that resembled Flintstone crocks, and am shown the steam room, showers, whirlpool, and "pre-treatment room" where I am instructed I must go 5 minutes prior to my appointment.

I change and make my way to the Enya and lavender infused room.  It is dark, there are no windows.  There's a couple tables scattered with Fitness and Good Housekeeping magazines, Iced Lemonade and tea.  I am met by at least 20 other women, aged 25-55 who are seated quietly and line the dimly lit maroon walls.  Its kind of an eery silence, there are some whispers here and there, but mostly, each of them stoically awaits their name to be called.  I felt as if  I had mistakenly stumbled upon Beauty "Judgment Day" for women.  

I could sense eyes darting around the room, be to robe, seizing up the woman in the next robe.  I wonder, what is everyone thinking? Is this normal to them? I have never been in a room with that much estrogen and sit in almost deathly silence.  I wonder what treatment she's getting...is she the kind of person that can afford to come here monthly...what is she looking at...do they feel sorry for me because I am here alone? And then, I hear my name.  I look up and a round-faced pink haired girl leads me into the dungeon below.

Vichy Shower Treatment 

Um, that is SO not what I was expecting.  It was cold, damp, and I really did not want to get in that casket-like porcelain bed.  Is it a bathtub? A hospital bed? I would have thought someone could have designed these things a little better! Anyway, I lay down, awkwardly, with my neck crooked to one side.  The water feels nice, not too hot, not too cold.  I am there for about 30 minutes, exfoliated and rinsed.
Then I put my soft robe back on and get excited for what I think will be the best part, here comes mummy time!

Anddd...not so much.  I kid you not, after covering my limbs with eucalyptus oil (from what I could assume) my therapist folded one side of the bed-sheet over my body, then the other side, and finally my feet and proceeded to "tuck me in" much like... no, exactly like my mom used to do when I was a kid.   And then...that's it.

I waited.  Wondering - where are the leaves? Where is the WRAP?  This is not a wrap.  Call me crazy but I was full on expecting a treatment like the advertisements for contour wraps, where the toxins are magically released and you can even lose inches with the miracle of the wrap!  But hello, I could lotion my limbs up at home and make a human burrito in my bed and it would be the same exact thing.

The best part came near the end when the therapist asked if I wanted the cold stone massage on my face.  I said, "Uh, sure, why not?"
She proceeds to roll a pebble from my chin straight up, over my nose, to the top of my forehead and around each eye once.  Yep.  That's the cold stone facial massage.  And forgive me, because I do not mean to sound pessimistic about Glen Ivy, because overall, the experience was lovely.  It is not a bad way to spend a Saturday morning in the least. But, I would definitely recommend you bring someone along with you so that, if nothing else, you have someone to laugh with over your scalp massage that resembled someone trying to pull your pony-tail out, or the awkward conversationalists in the "clothing optional" steam room.

At the end of the day, I have to say, at least they didn't kick me out for snapping a few photos so I could at least share my relaxing and comical experience!