You want me to do WHAT?
Code News: Pilates
I walk into a 3 story converted condo that I would have never knew existed unless I had been given specific directions. I walk pass 2 rooms full of masochistic & tantric looking machines with straps, pulleys, and springs....up to the second story which has not one, not two, but three full size Reformers. (See photo above for a Reformer) I was late, coming from work, but immediately I get in top of the reformer, and she says we are doing standing splits. UM. What? I can't do the splits sitting, laying down, in water, or when I was 5. There's no way in hell I'm walking out of here if I do the standing splits. But after some gentle direction, I manned up, stretched my right leg back as far as I could manage - focusing on a dot on the wall in front of me and praying my tendons didn't snap in half. The girl next to me was full on gumby-like bouncing up and down like she was enjoying it. 5, 7, 8...done. Ok next leg. Please God make this leg work. Ok, done! Now the sweet instructor says, OK now for the advanced advanced splits. OH pleeease.. You're kidding? That wasn't advanced enough? Balancing in the splits 2 feet off the ground? What is this the circ de soleil try outs? But, when all was said and done, I was amazed at what my body could do, and now I am still sore 2 days later, which feels pretty good. A bit of history about how I got to be a cir de sole understudy:
Before October 2010, when I first tried Pilates classes, I was a total skeptic- I was the person who would read that Jennifer Aniston gets her sculpted arms and firm thighs from Pilates and think....yeah, and eat lettuce carrots and vitamin water and run 5 miles a day!
My prior experience with Pilates had been brief, I took a class once in college and never got anything out of it. Mainly because I spent most of the class wondering how the teacher listened to the same Enya song repeatedly every week and never became a Ghandi follower.
I had been an athlete most of my life, playing volleyball and running half marathons, but had seriously injured my back along the way. I have two herniated and degenerating discs in my lower back which have caused me severe pain for the past decade – to the point I couldn’t get out of bed, let alone walk often mornings.
After trying acupuncture, chiropractic, massage, epidural steroid injections, daily prescription anti-inflammatories, hanging upside down in boots, traction, everything and anything, I was one orthopedic surgeon appointment away from. Needless to say, I felt hopeless and thought, why not try one more thing – if it doesn’t work I’ll have to resort to disc surgery.
In the beginning, I didn’t really feel like I was doing MUCH, with small movements, breathing, stretching. But I really enjoyed the environment and the instructors, and the definition I was seeing in my back, arms and lower back!
I was shocked, that within 2 months, not only did my back start to feel better but my fiancé was saying wow – you are BUFF! My back pain is now less than its ever been in 10 years, while I still have some pain, on a scale from one to ten, its now a 3 versus a 9-10 like before. And… that’s with NO medications!
Also the best part is now I have muscles I never had before, feel more centered, balanced and strong and relieved after I go to Pilates. I always thought I had to sweat to get a good work out in, but when you are on the third set of "small-V bends" at the Pilates barre, your legs are shaking and you feel the burn, you may not be sweating but the next 3 days you feel it! Twice a week will cost you a pretty penny but then again, being able to flex muscles you never knew you possessed is kind of priceless. And while I mainly started Pilates to see if it could help my back, I know fully believe it is one of the best ways to spend your money.
Microwaves and Balls
Frozen dinner tonight. Healthy Choice. Cheap Choice. Fast Choice. Microwaveable Choice. Dinner is Ready in Six Minutes Choice. NICE. After last nights fiasco: SMART CHOICE.
I am going to bake carrot cupcakes or red velvet cupcakes, because it makes me happy.
I also got a ball to sit on while at the computer in my office. I'm terribly frightened by the prospect of balancing for over 10 minutes straight. Knowing me, I'll get so caught up in a motion or email I am writing I will forget what I am actually perched on and lean back to my demise.
From Nails to Cheese....
6.28.2011
Code Lesson: Do NOT NOT NOT add a full condensed can of Cheese Soup to your Spaghetti.
TOTAL Bust. MAJOR Stomach Cramping.
Today I get home at 8:30pm, which is actually early considering I had time to drudgingly squeeze in a nail appointment (which the nice ladies, bless their souls, stayed late for me). My nails and roots are overdone, but that's a whole other story. I faintly recall the days when getting my nails done was a lavish treat to savor, spent catching up on the latest US Weekly or ELLE. But now, it's really no different than reading at work, while someone is pumicing and polishing my flanges. I digress.
Side note: Why is it that the person in the chair next to me inevitably thinks it's socially acceptable, nay, inviting and cordial to start asking personal questions about my life? I'm balancing my blackberry between prickly legs which I would have shaved had I known I was going to have time to squeeze in a pedicure at the last minute for fear of embarrassment, holding a pen between my lips, and flipping pages with my elbow while both arms are stretched to one side so the nail tech can reach them.
I am clearly totally open to starting a conversation, (insert sarcasm here), but yes, ma'am, what did you say? In some social circles this ill-advised acknowledgment apparently signals a 20 minute conversation which inevitably leads to this older woman telling me her unchartered opinions about life in general and as applied to me (because she knows me so well). But then again, I can't blame her, it is 7:30 pm on a Tuesday and I was the only other poor sap in there to answer her burning questions.
She proceeds to tell me "You know, they say you should never go through more than one major life change in a year. "
Oh yeah lady? Bring it.
I begin to tell her how my life has taken form this year, and she stops dead in her tracks. Literally, she says "I'm sorry, that's a LOT of stuff going on."
Ya, thank you, I could have told myself that. She concludes, "Well, good luck with everything!" Um Thank you! Okay, moving on. You thought that was painful to read? Imagine being in my plastic lined pedi-tub!
Anywayyyysssss.... I got my nails did, then came home and Bryan had (sweet thing he is) gone to the grocery store to get us food for the week, yes, I am aware it's Tuesday night; anyway I start to boil water...put noodles in, brown some meat, then add pasta sauce, everything is going just average so far. No smoke alarm, no gas fumes emitting sans flame (see macaroni and cheese reference in About Me) and just when I am about to season the sauce, grate some Romano and call it a dinner, I decide to put a can of Cheese Soup in there. What the H*** was I thinking?
I don't know, that it would be creamier and cheesier? That's always good right?
So I scoop up a bowl of piping hot gooey pasta for my husband, who takes a bite (he LOVES pasta) looks up and asks, "What did you put IN this?" I am half expecting his face to be full of wonderment and awe at my superb and creative culinary skills. Nope. That face had "I'm gonna barf written all over it."
I sink in my chair and give him the "lip." (sad puppy face that instantly melts him and makes him say whatever he thinks I need or want to hear).
I ask him, "You HATE it don't you? I'm so sorry. I can't believe I messed pasta up!" UGH. That's what I get for trying to be creative.
And he replies, "What? I love it!" I respond, "No, really, its ok I don't really like it either." Which was the truth, it was WAAAY to thick. I convincingly smile and tell him I thought it would be good because his mom used to put cream cheese and Velveeta in everything, and he grew up loving cheesy pasta.
But honestly the only reason I ate my bowl was because I hadn't eaten anything except my Eggo waffles for breakfast, and my usual packed lunch delicacy...PB&J.... and 2 fun size Hershey's chocolates, which I stole from my own desk, because I put them there for guests only ....that's working out well by the way.
So back to the cheese goop bow-tie bowl, Bryan looks up from faithfully chewing, forkful by forkful, and enthusiastically says "No babe! It's good!"
He cautiously asks "Issss there any left?" I say, "Ya, I'm sorry."
Him: "No that's good we can have leftovers!"
Me: Mpffff. "Not even the soup kitchen would take that crap. But, I think its stomach-able if you tell yourself you're eating Spaghetti-o's and not expecting actual pasta."
Spaghetti-o's. What was I thinking? My husband is ITALIAN!
He sheepishly laughs and returns, committed, eyes and face down to the bowl. He finishes. The man has a steel stomach. Then, he asks me a question I was not expecting.... "Are you going to finish yours?"
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| Kabobs made by Husband Last Week |
Anyone know any recommendations?
Clearly, my husband has skills that I am still lacking. Read more...
Birch Smirtch!
6.15.2011
Ah ah ah ah ah I'm about to blow....
I am an otter/beaver. I know, classy. But my husband is nothing other than the GOLDEN RETRIEVER, steady, loyal, calm, understanding, slow to act, low profile, yep, that's him!
The otter is outgoing, good talker, entertains others, impulsive, won't be quiet - the beav is very logical, factual, loves detail, can seem rigid, resistant to change, and can be too serious...
So needless to say, I was SO happy to come home to my retriever. I'm not calling him a dog - I am saying I am so thankful for his calm, his loyalty, his steady eveness which grounds me in my chaos. He made us dinner, and made me have a glass of wine and relax. That's what happiness is to me. Read more...
The Cake Ball doesn't fall far from the...stick?
6.14.2011
What the Code says about: CAKE POPS. NOT for the beginner housewife. Cake pops are a whole new level of play for us cake cravers. You are thinking, how hard could a cake ball on a stick be? I mean, Hot Dog on a Stick has had unbelieveable mall food court sucess despite their sunshine mad hatter accessories. Well, this cake ball machine/contraption from BabyCakes promises perfect balls of cake delight on a stick. It looks like my waffle maker's cousin. I make waffles. I should be able to do this.
My mom said she was going to take a stab at it first (pun intended). The apple doesn't fall far from the tree, or in our case, the cake ball doesn't fall far from the...um...stick? But before I could even attempt this phase 3 confection challenge, Bryan and I have literally eaten all the "candy coating" which you are supposed to melt and dip the balls in. Yeah. I'm talking about baking cake balls. Grow up.
So, I figure instead of making cake balls, I'm moving directly to Brownie Truffle Kabobs.
I have a recipe in my Sandra Lee Semi-Homemade cook book for Brownie Truffles. How GOOD do these look! Like donut holes, but not! I am so excited to try these - since Mom went before me with the cake pop fiasco. I also hear that you can bake a regular cake (using a cake box recipe), once its done baking, crumble it up in a big bowl, add 3/4 a tub of frosting, then roll into balls and bake on a cookie sheet. This sounds fun too, just watch out for an onset of diabetic coma.
PS, I love you Sandra Lee. You taught me how to make meatloaf - I used to think meatloaf was one mutation away from dog food. But Sandra knows how to deliver! I changed her recipe a bit (because I didn't have all ingredients on hand- shocking I know) - I will add pictures and give recipe soon)
The Circle of Life - Sponges
6.12.2011
So we were watching Home Improvement the other night, (Bryan fell asleep, as usual :)) and Jill was explaining this complicated process (watch entire video! HILARIOUS) to Tim about the hierarchy of kitchen sponges. I was loving it! BEcause in my head I was reaffirming that I already implement that same sponge process in our kitchen, but then I realized- Oh MY GOSH, what if Bryan doesn't know the circle of life of the sponges?
So, we had to have that conversation. And now we color code them...But I can't help but wonder...what goes on when I'm not looking.
Coincidentally, this episode also exemplifies what happens when mom goes to work, and doesn't have time to make the gingerbread houses, or bake for the school bake sale....things start to get sloppy when you don't have TIME to do it all!!!!
Ah sigh. Time to go swing in our as Bryan says "SOOO orange county low profile tire swing which serves no functional purpose - purely aesthetic"
Pregnancy Mask? Or Just Too Much Vitamin D?
Pregnancy Mask. I don't know about you, but whether you're pregnant or not, you certainly dont need a hormonal mask plastered above your upper lip. My hyperpigmentation that I have experienced I believe is a combination of hormones + sun discoloration. A myth I sqiftly needed to debunk, therefore, I used and continue to use, when I need it, this stuff. Pigment Gel® It works. I haven't tried any other products, but bleaching products scare me in general, RIP Michael. The ADDED BONUS to this product is that it keeps breakouts from recurring because there is AHA (Alpha Hydroxy Acid) in it and gets rid of old acne scarring! SO be careful and word to the wise, wear sunscreen when using this product.  |
| Midnight Recovery Complex Full of essential oils, this stuff is light, smells amazing, and does magic while you sleep. It does not I repeat does NOT clog pores. In fact, you wake up and your skin is exfoliated. Weird, I know. Maybe they put a secret ingredient specifically activated to remove impurties from late night wine/cookie fests. |
FACE & BODY PRODUCTS TO GET WHILE YOU ARE GROCERY SHOPPING!!
These products are available at your local Mother's Market, among a plethora of other fantastic products!
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| Jason Ester C Vita C Max Not sure how much vitamin C is actually in here, but who cares, it gently exfoliates and leaves your skin feeling and looking fresh and glowing. I use in the while I am in the shower, rub it all over your face and then let it soak in for a couple minutes. Then rinse off with a wash cloth or with your hands really well. |
UM. Hey Mr. I'm a Dr., could you please elaborate on what you mean by PROLONGED PROCESSESS? Do you mean if I put this on my face every morning and every night for most of my twenties, does that qualify as "prolonged processess?" Or does prolonged processess mean I have to lather, absorb, repeat until I turn into a gel-based mutation? Hence, my next favorite product you can get at Mother's....honey girl organics night creme smooth, organic, natural, so good you can eat! I wouldn't recommend it, but it is good to know, especially considering there are doctors out there who say things like "Human skin is a living organ, not upholstery." There are no words.
Moving on, you can also purchase Moisturising shave gel, lavender salt scrub, and lavendar oil spray.
Which leads me to my next point -lavendar oil spray (or any oil spray for that matter) should automatically come with a manufacturers warning on it that says DO NOT TRY THIS ON YOUR HARDWOOD FLOORS. (or vegetabke oil for that matter, see this interesting question and answer by a contractor - I love his final completely irrelevant comment about what kind of dressing he likes on his salad) I can smell the product liability through the hint of lavendar as I spray my arms and legs after a nice shower where I just scrubbed with it's sister salt scrub. Because the LAST thing you want as you are trying to relax and detox after your long day at work is to turn the corner to plop into bed and near fall on your a** because the your lavendar oil spray is now an accelerant to make a fool out of yourself.
Oh the Collages....
6.11.2011
A long-time favorite hobby of mine is making collages - I did a collage for every weekend practically or significany event throughout dating Bryan...by the time we had hit our 6 month mark, we had accumulated enough photos and collages to start our own Flikr site. I love seeing the trending of our relationship! 
The Need to Escape Anonymity
“If you can learn to use your mind as well as your powder puff, you will become more truly beautiful.” Sophia Loren
My mom mentioned Sophia the other day...well, she couldn't remember her name - all she said was, remember that beautiful brunette actress....and I knew exactly who she was talking about.
Courage. Glamour. Determination. Illumination.
What a bombshell beauty - timeless and classic...isn't that what we all strive for? She has the kind of beauty that only comes from a roaring confidence and courage deep within...that kind of fire inside cannot be contained but radiates outward and extends from your very core. To exude confidence and sex appeal because you are okay with who you are and what you stand for is bold, and expressive, and at times frightening, frightening to feel. Sometimes the thought of actually feeling, let alone expressing that feeling just hurts too bad, and you want to remain comatose and numb.
Sophia was told over and over that she was not a classical beauty: with her nose too long, her mouth too large, her chin and her hips too broad. But what others could not see at first, was that the total of all her face parts, her body language and her inner beauty made her stunning.
“I was suffused with the feeling that that’s what I was put on earth to do, to act, to express myself, to let out whatever feelings I had inside; and perhaps a need to escape anonymity.” (Sophia. Living and Loving. Her Own Story)
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| Pre-photoshop times, Gorgeous! |
I think when we believe in what is greater than who we are, we are transcended in the process and become greater beings than we perceive of ourselves. And finally, as Sophia states so concisely: “Success, I would find out, is interior. It has to do with self-fulfillment and the joy of living.”
That is what I have come to realize and am working on living out daily. It's easier said than done.
Read more...
Banana Bread Modernized!
Banana bread has always perplexed me. I don't eat bananas, I would never touch a spotted banana, much less a compost-ready banana.
However, I'd be rich if I had a nickel for every time I downed a loaf of banana bread so fast it got stuck in my throat and I thought I was going to die eating a processed carbohydrate.
For some reason though, banana bread is comfort food. It smells amazing and it never gets old. You can't really mess the recipe up either, which i like. The only thing i could think of better that is better than banana bread, are banana chocolate chunk muffins.... so I made them.
I know these pictures are not the greatest and I am in the process of getting a digital SLR camera to better capture the ooey goodness of my non-burned baked goods. This batch of little muffins were so good I tried to freeze half of them so we wouldnt eat them all in 2 days. They lasted about 4 days. The recipe is from my aunt Kerry from Nebraska and will be posted in the recipes section.
Turns out, turning old rotting compost fruit into a delicious treat is quite the tasty treat. Call me David Copperfield.
Read more...
Welcome to the Brotherhood of Shaving
Case in point:
Matt and I had entered the monochromatic barber boutique in search of a comparison between purchasing disposable razers (which gets annoying and costly) vs. the straight razor which never goes bad. You can purchase a hand crafted horn handled straight razer like the one below for only $260. Just please don't attempt to travel the friendly skies with this bad boy, TSA will confiscate that concealed weapon before you can say badger brush. Speaking of badgers...
If you are wishing to compliment your man's 4 step silky epidermis routine with a classy 40's inspired lathering component you could select from the variety of fine feathered badger brushes... or perhaps accessorize your bathroom with a vintage flair by perching your hunk's razor in a chrome razor stand.
So although the majority of the world categorizes shaving as a mundande daily task, it obviously is not. It's not only an ART, it's a cash cow niche!! Had founders and creators Myriam and Eric not sold their $12,000 car in 1995 and followed their dream of the impossibly smooth shave, this cash cow Proctor and Gamble recently ate up over would have never actualized. And the fact of the matter is, selling the classic, clean shaven image that the good ol boys represented is priceless isn't it?
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| Carey Grant |
Ask yourselves this...is YOUR man in the brotherhood?
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